Care too much

whenever im not okay
i would lock myself in a room thinking what happened
i would go out and take a walk to cool down
i would call a friend to seek for advice
although its not a close friend
because i dont have one
i would be very quiet doing nothing
although almost everytime im quiet
but when im not okay
i wouldnt give u any reaction
no matter how u call me
shout at me, shake me
or do anything on me
i just dont feel like giving any reaction

today
spent 25 minutes for walking a 8 minutes canopy walk
thinking of everything what i had did
i know i care too much
im just afraid of losing friends
im just afraid of being alone

care too much by being sensitive
being too sensitive doesnt even help me
not sensitive when friends giving signal
but sensitive in what people say
i keep those in my heart
its just because
i couldnt resolve question face to face
i know im a failure of being other people's friend

learn to accept
accept how my friends think is a daily routine for me
im always carefull of what i had said
but this time
i failed very badly
im so sorry
for upsetting you